Narcissists Don't Want to Understand You

Narcissists don't try to understand other people. They just want to force you to play a role they assign to you.

They are looking for people to be a dancing monkey in their show. If you can play your role, then you will be fine.

If you don't play your role, the narcissist will devalue, invalidate, criticize and shame you. They data mine for all your weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and insecurities and will use these against you when they want to hurt you or make you feel bad.

It's really that simple. To a narcissist, you are just a cog in their wheel. A game piece in their board game. They move you around how they want and if you don't comply, they will try to crush your spirit.

If you don't play the role they want, they will easily find someone else who is willing, ready, and able to do that for them.

What do you want you to do? Prop up their ego, give them all your attention, give them validation, status, approval, money, or whatever else they want from you.

Narcissists will never be able to control independent people. In fact, they think independent people are bad people simply because they cannot be controlled. Narcissists think you are bad because you are not doing what they want all the time.

The only way to steer clear of narcissists in your life, is to become emotionally and financially independent. Create your own world with your own friends, hobbies, work, and social network.

***Fill out the worksheets in the Psych Bible E-Journal to help you decide how to deal with these kinds of toxic people.